So I’m replacing the highly proprietary and totally un-re-orderable porch doorknob. I’m drilling the second hole for the new knob, which, unlike the old one, is actually a *real* doorknob, with a *real* offset. As I’m drilling through the aluminum for about the thirtieth time, I see some dust coming out. I’m thinking “Gee. I hope that’s not *glass* dust.”

Then I hear the noise.

Crackle. Cracklecrackle. CracklecrackleCRACKLECRACKLECRACKCRACKLECRACKLE!

The craziest thing about it was that the cracking went on for over *twenty* *minutes*! Looking at the whole door, it was very difficult to see where the cracks were appearing, but if I concentrated on one small area and waited long enough, POP!, I could see it crack! It was so fascinating it was *almost* worth the trouble and expense of having to clean up about a gallon of glass shards, bandage my slashed-to-shit arm with half a bottle of superglue, and now find a replacement pane.


I spent several *days* previously repairing the original doorknob and plunger, eventually resorting to sawing the plunger in half and re-gluing it with J.B. Weld, precisely because I was afraid this would happen. I’m proud to say the original repair lasted months longer than I thought it would, but I knew, one day, it would come to this.

Click Here to hear not only cracking glass, but CHICKENS!

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