Dear Universe,

In our time of space-age technology, is it not too much to ask for a silicone lube container that doesn’t fucking leak everywhere?  I *know* it’s slippery, that’s why I bought it, but if more of it ends up inside my kit bag, soaked in the headliner of my car, and strewn snot-like along everything in between *despite* the fact that I keep the bottle inside its very own ziplock bag, I’m comfortable with saying we’re looking at Product Packaging Failure.  And it’s not just gross and expensive, it’s actually fucking unsafe.  One drop on the stairs and it could literally kill someone.  Why don’t we, as collective species, get our fucking shit together and fix this?

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