The A.M.O.G A.F.O.G — The Overlap of Polyamory and Pickup Culture

After getting over the surprise of hearing The Art of Charm, a podcast on how to pick up women, recommended on the C-Realm, a podcast largely about alternatives to Neo-Liberal Capitalism, I decided to check it out. KMO, host of the C-Realm, had been discussion books that helped him be a better social creature and get along better with others, and said he would recommend the first few episodes of the Art of Charm to his boys when they reached dating age.

While there are, as expected, the episodes on how to reliably pick up strippers, super-uber-over-promotion, and extreme bro-heaviness, the overall podcast is much more positive, ethical, and useful than most people, especially women, would assume. I’m reading The Game at the same time, and it’s very clear the Pick Up scene has come a long way since it was published. The focus has shifted from how to be the best at getting as many women as possible into bed to how to become the best version of oneself possible, while lifting up everyone around oneself at the same time. The truth that getting laid a lot doesn’t necessarily lead to long-term happiness has been digested, and the larger goal of having better and more real relationships is being embraced. The episode on controlling male orgasmic response went to a whole new level when the interviewee, Alex Allman, proceeded to recommend Radical Honesty, one of my favorite self-help books for Crazy People. That episode is Highly Recommended for everyone. It might make you feel differently about the very-easy-to-overjudge Pickup scene.

People might be surprised that a man with three long-term girlfriends is interested in this stuff, but the truth is my pursuit skills are still at a junior-high level. All my current partners were already in my social scene, or they came to me. The Venn diagrams of the people I attract and the people I’m attracted to overlap, but aren’t the same, and I want the ability to pursue people outside the teardrop.

It’s interesting to analyze myself in terms of the qualities AOC promotes. I have some in spades, but am quite dry in others. It will be interesting to see what happens as I fill in the gaps.

A.M.O.G A.F.O.G ? Another Fucking Opportunity for Growth delivered by the Alpha Male of the Group. A likely outcome of my initial experiments. 🙂

Time to brush up on my de-escalation skills.

Note that I’m now using Amazon Smile to donate to Loving More when posting Amazon links. I don’t see any of the money, it goes directly to them.

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4 Responses to The A.M.O.G A.F.O.G — The Overlap of Polyamory and Pickup Culture

  1. Glad you’re enjoying the podcasts and didn’t simply judge the website at face-value. We’ve changed the website a bunch and are continuing to grow the brand away from pickup stuff. It’s not easy given that we’ve been around for over 7 years and have evolved much since then.

    -Jordan Harbinger

    • Scott Mauer says:


      I’m also on podcast 54 or so, starting from the beginning, so there’s a shitload of your more recent material i haven’t heard yet. I’ve found a few tech foibles with the site now and then. If you want to shoot me an e-mail address direct to tech support that bypasses your marketing department, i’ll submit some bug reports for you.

      Looking forward to seeing your continued transformation. Thanks for all the hard work!

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